Arguments, Bullets, and Bounty Hunters
by Kotetsu T. Kaburagi
Summary: A story of hilarious proportions. The title says it all really. So check it out if you will. Flames will be used to light the candles in my Vash shrine. .


Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, but if I did I'd probably share them. .

Arguments, Bullets, and Bounty Hunters

By: J-chan

"Doesn't anything in that spikey yellow head of yours work vash?!" Yelled a very pissed off priest.

" I'm sorry! I just couldn't help myself! She was such a hottie too!!" The blonde yelled back.

Wolfwood and Vash were once again on the run after they had stopped in a small town called JR. Unfortunately for the two this town just so happened to be inhabited by nothing but bounty hunters and their families. Vash had made the mistake of revealing his identity to a pretty girl and was shocked beyond words when she immediately aimed a gun at him. This caught the attention of everyone around him, and not soon after he and Wolfwood bolted from the town, dragging Angelina 2 with them. The bike had chosen that day of all days to break down and Wolfwood just couldn't leave it. Currently they were being chased down by what amounted to the entire population of the bounty hunter town.

"Geeze, I should have just left your ass back with that girl and her grandma!" Wolfwood fumed.

"Gee, thank's for your kindness friend." Vash said sarcastically.

He pulled out his gun and shot two more bullets out of the air that were headed Wolfwood's way. But instead of acknowledging this Wolfwood pulled out a cigarette and tried to light up as he ran.

"If you really CARE I just saved your life TWICE!" Vash shouted.

Wolfwood looked up lazily and blew a smoke ring at him.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you?"

"GRRRR!!!"

With a growl Vash let go of his hold on the bike and ran ahead of Wolfwood. It wasn't his fault if the preist ended up with a bullet in the back. He should pay more attention to what he was doing and then maybe he wouldn't run into trouble. Distracted by his thoughts, Vash was caught off gaurd when a bullet found its mark in his shoulder, and he stumbled into the sand.

"Oww! Dammit that hurt! Why do these things always happen to me?!"

"Because you're Vash The Stampede, that's why."

Wolfwood said, and helped him to his feet. The two continued on and soon lost the bounty hunters. They took shelter in a small cave Vash spotted on the horizon. Vash nervously scanned the cave walls for signs of danger. Wolfwood came over and slapped him on the shoulder. The wounded shoulder.

"OWWWW!!" Vash cried in pain.

"What's- Oh look, blood." Wolfwood said before he promptly passed out.

About five minutes later the comatos preist regained conciousness and blinked a few times, before looking over at Vash, who was glaring at him and holding his shoulder protectively. Wolfwood rose and went over to where vash was sitting, only to have the blonde gunman recoil in horror and turn away from him with a fearful expression on his face.

"No! Stay away!" Vash yelled.

"C'mon Tongari, let me look at it! The bullet might still be in there!" Wolfwood shouted back.

"No, it isn't! I'm fine! I don't need any help! Stay back!!"

Vash quickly scooted away from Wolfwood, but the other man was too fast and he tackled the gunslinger, and pinned him to the ground. Vash struggled madly for a few minutes but finally gave up and let Wolfwood look at his shoulder. Wolfwood unbuttoned Vash's coat carefully and tossed it in a corner, then surveyed the wound with practiced concentration. A wince crossed Vash's face as Wolfwood felt around the wound to check for broken bones or torn muscles. Finding none he shifted Vash around and looked for an exit wound. Nothing! sweat-dropping he turned to Vash and put on his best doctor's voice.

"Well Vash,....it looks like the bullet is still in there....so....I....I'll have to....remove it. Brace yourself."

Vash gulped and squeezed his eyes shut as Wolfwood jammed his fingers into the wound and felt around for the little peice of metal, that could cause major problems if not removed immediately. As Wolfwood worked he was vaguely aware that Vash was uttering the most foul words he had ever heard under his breath. He absentmindedly wondered just where vash had picked up such language, then decided it was best not to ponder on it. If he was in pain then let him say what he wants, we're both adults here. After much searching, prodding, and an ear-piercing screech from Vash, the bullet was safely removed and the wound was bandaged. Vash sat up and rubbed his eyes. He examined the bandage and, seeing that everything was fine, rebuttoned his coat. Wolfwood had long since lit another cigarette and was already halfway through it. He walked over to the pitiful heap that was the Angelina 2 and began to work on it. Vash sweatdropped.

"Wolfwood what are we gonna do if you can't fix that thing by morning?"

"That THING Vash is my baby; and don't you dare insult her, or I won't remove the next bullet you get lodged in yourself."

Vash wimpered. "Have you so little faith in me Wolfwood?"

"Only when it comes to you keeping yourself out of trouble." Wolfwood chuckled.

The rest of the night was spent talking, around a small campfire Vash had managed to get going. The main topics of conversation were about one another's pasts, and by the end of the evening they knew just about everything about each other. Wolfwood withheld the part about his role as a gung ho gun, and vash never said anything about not being human, but other than that it was quite a pleasent night. That next morning however would prove to be quite different.

BOOM "OH CRAP!!! Wolfwood's gonna kill me!!"

Wolfwood shot straight up from where he lay and ran outside. He beheld Vash, covered from head to toe in soot, standing next to a smoking crater in the ground, and looking like the guiltiest man in the world. Wolfwood walked over to the smoking hole and his hands shook in anger as he bent over and picked up what was left of the license plate to Angelina 2. Vash cautiously tried to inch away but it was too late, Wolfwood had spotted him.

"VASH!!!!!!!"

"I'M SORRY!!!!!"

Vash took off and never looked back as Wolfwood grabbed his cross punisher and gave chase. The hunt was on. As for the bounty hunters....well.....they went home.

OWARI

Well I hope you all thought it was hilarious. I apologize for what I did to Vash-san, but it seemed like a good bit of irony at the time. also, I just couldn't resist making Vash cuss. Heck, I would too in that situation. Well, happy reading, and if you all review, I'll post more stories.

Sayonara,

J-chan


End file.
